I am the Miracle.
What does this mean to me, in this moment of now?
I have been thinking about and meditating on this question a lot lately. When I did my Reiki training with Angela back in May, she told me that a miracle is “always cloaked in fear.” And then a few weeks later in June after my trip to Raleigh, Angela told me that “I am the Miracle.”
For so long now (probably my entire life), I always believed a miracle was an outside, external SOMETHING… Some peripheral event, happening, person, situation, or occurrence. Some thing that happened to you, or for you, by God him/herself to only the worthy believers and the truly faithful. Some act of wonder, awe, and amazement that left one speechless, baffled, on their knees in awe, and wondering what the fuck just happened… there is something bigger than me and “it” just showed itself in a human way.
A miracle is something that you can’t explain. It is totally irrational. Illogical. Crazy. And it makes no human sense. The more the human mind tries to explain it, define it, prove it, or understand it, the more one is left completely confused and bewildered and lost.
For one cannot understand a miracle while incarnated in a human body. A miracle only relates to the Soul and our Higher Self.
So, I am the miracle….
If I am “the miracle,” then every human being is also “the miracle.” It’s just that only a very rare few choose to awaken to their miraculousness. For awakening is a choice. The miracle is a choice. Returning to God is a choice.
All miracles are cloaked in fear. We are all Souls having a human experience. All human beings are fear-based creatures upon incarnating, living, and breathing. So, we ALL are essentially cloaked in fear.
The choice to awaken from this fear and return to our true essence- Love- is “the miracle.” Our choice to remember God, surrender our Egos, take off our masks, tear down the walls of un-love from around and hearts, and lay down our armor of self hatred and anger is “the miracle.” Our remembrance of our own unique, beautifully perfect Divinity- which is within each of us- is “the miracle.” And above all, our eternal connection to- not our perceived separation from- our Holy Mother and Blessed Father God is “the miracle.”
The miracle is not “M” returning to me. The miracle is not my having written or published a book about the last 7 years of my life. The miracle is not that I have a relationship with my family again.
No, the miracle is not anything human, tangible, or of this Earth. It’s nothing I can see, touch, taste, hear or smell. It is not a thing that is outside of us, or something I can wrap my arms around.
Rather, It is within each of us… each of us that choose to remember and return to our Divine Truth and Essential Nature. It is a sense. An deep inner knowing of Who and What we are in our core. It is that deep inner truth and wisdom that only we can know and feel and sense. It is the fire that burns within each of us that drives us to keep going when all seems lost, hopeless, and broken and we are faced with life’s most magnanimous difficulties. It is facing our darkest corners and deepest fears and choosing to keep going and fighting against the most uneven of odds (our small self). It is never giving up on ourselves and whatever our unique, chosen Holy Desire/Passion is. It is doing whatever it takes to gain that sense of peace and serenity and trust that only come when we have done everything humanly possible- and then falling to our knees, broken, battered, shattered, and beaten begging for Mercy and Help because all the human shit we did didn’t actually work and there is no where else to go but UP (God) and IN (our Self).
Indeed, we are all walking miracles… For the miracle is within each of us, but can only “won” through great trial, disappointment, difficulty, courage, and determination.
You bet your ass I’m “the miracle.” I wouldn’t expect anything less than being such at this point!